Milk + Honey Mommy Makeover

The Lovely Austin spa Milk + Honey had a mother's day makeover contest for mother's day. My own sweet mother KNOWS how much i love spa stuff and especially Milk + Honey - so she entered me, told my story of the past year and why i deserved to win - and i did!! They had 2 winners, one for the downtown location (this is the one i usually go to for massages with Paul), and one for the Hill Country Galleria - which i won.
I'm kind of glad i won that location - i imagined it would feel more like a getaway escape day!

It really was.

here was my day:

Facial with Shayna - dreamy, relaxing, i loved it

Manicure with Adrienne - she encouraged me to pick a hot hot electric pink. super fun and it lasted ages.

Then Hair Color AND cut AND makeup application with teh fab Jessica M - she was so awesome how she explained ways to style my hair now that it's so short AND wavy, different then before chemo. She also explained how some of the hair styles i had pictures of were different in terms of growth & length and how i can goal towards them.  I'm sort of protective of my hair length, i like it short, but i want it a bit longer, so even tho i needed a trim i didn't want to cut it too much.
I also got a goody bag with some shampoo, condish, and makeup

I loved it all, and i loved just being away from my usual daily schtuff and being pampered.

"before" puffy unruly hair & chipped nails!

"After" - my daughter called my nails "jersey shore" humph

Thank you Milk + Honey people (chance & summer & all of you) for picking me!! I will forever go there.

A Year Ago

today is one year anniversary of the day i got my breast cancer diagnosis. I guess i have been aware of the upcoming date, i guess i also knew i would write a post. but my mind was blank as to how i felt, or imagined i would feel.
I'm happy i'm well, i'm happy i'm here a year later, i'm happy my life is pretty intact, my kids, my work, my people. I'm happy i'm making summer plans, Disney World -  even 2012 plans (Broadway Accross America tix!)
Sometimes i only allow myself to think superficially about everything.

I distinctly remember the friday before - i said to my boyfriend "i don't want my life to change on Monday" and then it did
I remember "before" getting accupuncture, talking to peopel.
of course i remember the fucking phone call
I sorta remember calling my mom
I remember telling my kids with the help of my Elizabeth
hmmm actually i remember a lot.
but looking back the part that's so different from now is that looking forward with clarity.
the unknown of a year ago today was the worst part. i couldn't make a single plan, except surgury dates & dr appointment, i couldn't envision what i would look like or feel like at any future point

i guess i feel sad today and also happy
i feel so thankful for all the people that took care of me.
and all the people that gave me gifts or came over with food or cleaning. You know, sometimes i don't even remember all the people, and it will suddenly hit me that so and so came over or called or sent something.
i swear i'm gonna buy a stack of thank you cards soon and write down a list of everyone

i feel sorry for myself for having had that year
i feel proud of myself for getting through it
I feel sad that my life, and my kid's life has changed so much
i feel happy that i've had the opportunity to grow through something like this and have my life enhanced by the experiences and the people.
i feel very tired
i feel lucky
i feel amazed
i feel strong
i feel hopeful
i could write all night about how i feel
i guess i don't really have a nice wrap up - i will always remember this anniversary with some melancholy & some hell yeah i kick ass as well.

Unicorn Tears

My son is so sweet it's crazy  - for mother's day he drew me this picture - it's of a unicorn - i love unicorns, and the unicorn has a tear dripping on me because unicorn tears have magical healing powers. It's almost too much to take.  But then he gave me a book of poetry he wrote and that really sent me over the edge i'm going to copy the most amazing one here.

                                                                
Inside My Mom
Inside my mom is the power of a butterfly.
She can fly and spread love.
Her big wings protect me.
She sucks up paparazzi with her beauty

Inside my mom are unicorns healing her when she is hurt
Inside my mom is time for fun.
Inside my mom are pans full of Indian food
Inside and outside my mom is beauty
My mom is good, great, and best,
She is fun, playful, and crazy.
Inside my mom is my mom.

Magic Flute magic night

That title is kind of cheesy and a little much, it's never entirely magical when you are out somewhere late with two kids...
anyway, last night the kids and I got to go see Ballet Austin's Magic Flute on what is known as community night. The night before the real deal starts, they perform a rehearsal, and give tickets to various non profits for their clients to enjoy a night at the ballet! It's a casual event, open seating, and a cozy atmosphere knowing that it's such a night, of giving to the community

We got ours courtesy of the amazing Wonders & Worries.
I was so happy to get them - i had wanted to buy tickets. I love ballet but more than that i was acutually obsessed with the Magic Flute opera as a kid. I know weird, i was really into Mozart, read a bunch of biographies with my Dad, and then the Magic Flute in movie form came to a theater in NYC and my Dad took me, i loved it so much my Mom took me another time. I was completely smitten.

This of course was different, no words, but nonetheless when the first musical strains soared from the orchestra pit, i could not hold back a few tears. the familiarity, the memory of  innocent times, contrasting with where i am today. sitting with my kids. only there at that point as a result of what has happened.

It was a beautiful performance, the kids loved it. we were happy, so i guess that is sorta magical