I love nostalgia, i love drifting through memories, looking at old photos, i usually get teary, not from sadness, unless it's sad, but from that hard to grasp, hard to explain feeling of remembering moments, people, feelings
I just don't keep so many souvenirs now - mostly because i don't know where to keep em, i don't make scrapbooks anymore, because I have no room to scrap, and all my photos are on my phone...
And since cancer, i really almost completely live in the now, or actively work on that. I mean i reminisce, and enjoy traveling through old times, but i don't dwell or regret or pine...
Today i was cleaning out a shit ton of stuff that my cleaning angel had cleared out of my bookshelves and put into bags for me to deal with. Had a lot of memory lane moments. But i kept finding various items from the cancer year, folders from the hospitals with after care info, notes from medication timing and dosing, pamphlets on whatever, evena a hospital bracelet, they kind of gave me a stab of pain, and for a second i felt i needed to put them in the "save" pile, but really a millisecond, then i thought, are these "souvenirs"? I don't want to deny or forget that time, i value all of the lessons, i very clearly remember how goddamn hard it was, i am crystal on the love and care i received, but i don't really care to remember the little details like that, in a concrete physical way. So they are gone
I did keep the cards from my friends though....those lift me like nothing else
What about you? do you keep any "souvenirs" from that time?
diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2010, single mom of 2 wildebeasts, love my job - i'm a realtor, love my friends, love food, love austin, love marmosets.
Blogging about my cancer trip on Glitter Every Day & about cooking vegan from the Greenling Delivery boxes on Vegan Greenling, and Real Estate/Austin at rocknrealty.net