not to lose weight
not to diet or "eat better"
not to exercise more
not to try and change my body
not to give up....sugar, wheat, coffee, whatever
I do intend however to work on more self love, more body acceptance, more adjusting my judgments about body and weight, specifically mine.
To enjoy my body, my food, my life, my age, my experience.
To not limit myself because I think i'm fat or not worthy or too old or whatever
To wear my glitter, get more tattoos, wear clothes with unicorns and woodland creatures on them
To step forward in my shining light with honesty and truthfulness - in the total Nanette-ness of me, unabashed, unashamed unapologetic
and Yoga - yoga is where i find glitter in my insides to sparkle from within
i always love new years day - well i do now that I don't have hangovers on it.
It just feels new, even though it's just a day, Friday today. I don't have a set in stone ritual on Jan 1st, but there are some things i love to do - for one - i always read my little spiritual diary, i don't read it every day of the year but the Jan 1 entry is one of my faves:
" With the opening of the New Year, all the closed portals of limitations will be thrown open and I shall move though them to vaster fields, where my worthwhile dreams of life will be fulfilled." - Paramahasana Yogananda
Just feels like such a great way to start - every year, every day there are closed portals to open and dreams to fulfill and ponder upon.
I also like to do 108 Sun Salutations - in past years i've done them on new years eve but this year I am doing them on Jan 1. I decided not to go to a studio that was offering it in a group and instead I am going to complete them at home, that way i can take all day and do it in increments of 5 or 10 or whatever, and mark them down. So far today I've done 15 and i'm listening to Magnetic Fields as my soundtrack
Today also I will go to Counter Culture for their new years day brunch with my daughter, we tried last year but the line was huge and we had a time constraint. - Well actually i saw that the line is huge again and so I'm gonna cook up some deliciousness, lentil pie, garlicky wilted collard greens for abundance and black eyed pea harissa hummus.
One thing i started new this year was a new instagram and twitter account for Glitter Every Day - i was reading the beginning of this blog and remembering the inspiration for the name - the day i had to go have a biopsy, the one that diagnosed my breast cancer, i wore glitter eyeliner to it, i wanted and needed to feel glittery, pretty, snazzy and ME - i've always been a glitter girl. I felt good that day in my fear. For some reason this past year I've had a renewed difficulty finding the me in me. The shine i have felt in the past. Nothing major has happened, it's just a thing, some shifts of life n stuff. So I've been doing the glitter wearing again, even to yoga sometimes, glitter eye liner is on.
I was inspired big time by this awesome blog post by my friend Blake, it just takes a little thing to feel that spark, it's not so hard to find that self expression.
But I also want to remember that finding that can be in anything...a quote, an encounter, a flower, you get it. So follow me:
I've had a lot of changes in the last few weeks, mostly tiny internal shifts that have let me "know" certain things, certain directions I want to persue, certain attitudes to embrace...and some bigger changes that were/are hard to accept, but as always a chance for growth.
These shifts are aligning with the changing season, a time to disperse of old paradigms and reinvent. I'm ready. I've been practicing more yoga than usual, 5-6 days a week, this always brings about the raw internal observations
But before I even became clear on this I had signed up for an Ayurvedic yoga and cleanse at Eastside Yoga, and at the same time my soul sister Ro had turned me on to a new podcast, more on that in a bit...so along with all this spiritual stuff, and physical body stuff, i felt the urge to purge....my closet that is. And bookshelves it seems too.
So I put a facebook call out to people that I was doing this, and people came over, and took my stuff. I had a lot of cool books and pretty clothes. And every now and then someone would ask me "how much?" - and i of course would answer - nothing, it's free, take it. Some people asked me why i was doing this. It's hard to asnwer that to a "mixed group" - so I wanted to share where this purge concept comes from....it's not because I have too much, or I want to buy more, it's really not an earthly vibe or action. I was inspired by the podcast mentioned above - The Yoga Healer podcast - i'm in love with it!!
So, here is the link to hear it - and listen to more of her - she's fantastic and speaks my lingo
happy fall reinvention and rising from the ashes y'all
I just saw the film Me & Earl and the Dying Girl - i knew that because it was about cancer that I would cry, actually anyone would cry, it's a beautifully sad movie.
But there was one scene - and I'm only saying this as a PSA - if you went through being bald from chemo - to bring kleenex, and go with people you feel comfy with....
you know when you lose your hair, and everyone tells you how beautiful you look, and then they go - "no really, of all people, you REALLY look so gorgeous bald, it actually suits you"... I KNOW they have to say that, i know they want you to feel ok, they want to feel ok, they want to lessen the suffering of all of us.
And in fact I must admit i've said it, and in all honesty it's kind of true a lot of the time, some women really do look amazingly beautiful when they lose their hair. Maybe it's perfect bone structure, big eyes, perfect lips, mostly it's the aura of warrior mixed with aching vulnerabilty - when i see it i know it's beautiful, it just is.
But remember how it felt? remember how ugly, tired, sad and beat down it felt? Raw, open, sick and just crappy. There were times when i donned one of my groovy scarves, piled on the glitter eye make up, pink lip gloss, dangly earings that i felt a glimmer of pretty in the mirror, but mostly it was hard to look, i remember forcing myself to look head on in the mirror and take it in. Not easy.
The scene i'm referring to kind of got to that part of the cancer memory cloud - I didn't expect it, but it was kind of surreal, like I wasn't hearing it or wasn't in the theater, i was back to that time. My daughter felt it, i know because i felt her hand on my arm and it helped to know that she knew i was remembering.
I didn't allow any photos of me bald, i kind of wish i had - here's a scarf one, definitely more bearable
Really a wonderful movie - i totally reccomend you all go see it - there is so much more going on than just the cancer part
this post isn't cancer related - but seeing as i don't write that much about it these days, and seeing as i often have stuff to say, i'm gonna start posting Nanette-ness of some sort or another
anyway, this is a rant somewhat. and it's MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS...
I just finished wathing the documentary "Don't Follow Me - I'm Lost Too" about pretty much my fave musician ever (besides the Stones & Dylan) Bobby Bare JR.
It was good, followed him on the road, trials and tribulations, I got to hear/see my fave songs.
The road stuff is whatever, i've heard about it and seen it over the course of my semi-life long "career" of musican relationships. A whole other subject. Which leads me to what got me riled up.
The movie ended with Bobby's then current relationship with the mother of his then 2 month old baby leaving him, and Bobby saying to the camera, that the two women, mother's of his 3 children, both left him because they wanted him to stop doing what he was doing, stop being on the road, and of course he didn't because...duh. In his words he pointed out that he could stay in his town and have some shitty job making some shitty amount an hour, but really the point is deeper than that.
If you fall in love with a working musician, if you have a baby with him, if you marry him or not marry him, you sign up for this life. What Bobby's chicks did happens all the time and I just don't understand it. Surely that aspect, that creative energy, that talent, that spark that makes song writing and playing the "thing" that makes your man thrive, surely that's what you fall in love with. And i don't mean the image, i mean if you fall in love with a person, you fall in love that person and all that they are, unconditionally. Thier essesnce. And for artists, the creating is their essence. Why woud you want them to not be them? It's like asking your dog to please be a cat now because you are tired of having to walk them all the time. Or wishing the sky was green because it's a way more pleasant color to you than blue.
My ex husband came home for 2 weeks when my first kid was born, two weeks, then he was gone for 4 months i think, and then for some more time, and some more. I know my situation was semi-easy in that significant money was being made and major carreer success was happening. I realize it may be harder to take when it's all a grind and not too luxurious. But that doesn't change the scenario, in that if an artist forces themsleves to not be that, the effects of that would be squeezed out the sides like a melting ice cream sandwhich. resentment, anger, depression, sadness, disatisfaction.
I guess i have to disclaim that this may not be the case in every relationship and in every artist, and let's not even touch on peoples paranoia about "men on the road" - it happens, it doesn't happen, it's not the point of this.
I just know you have to love someone and let them be who they are, and it's not easy, and not always pretty and it doesn't always work.
below is Bobby Bare Jr and his insanely cute daughter Bella singing the song Bobby sang with his Dad when he was a kid.
Really it's a free for all folks - like i said before - the possibilities are endless, it's YOUR good mood, your choices, your songs.
You can even google "songs that put you in a good mood" and get a variety of awesome suggestions
Today i chose "joy to the world" because - happy - it just makes me happy!
I threw in a little Lee Dorsey too becaust it makes me feel cute - it reminds me of when i was 20 years old and worked at the Green Mesquite BBQ and we had a buch of Lee Dorsey on the Juke Box, it was the first time I had heard it and I used all my tip quarters to play it over and over
So there you have it - I'd love to know if you try this what your songs are, and if you feel it....it's just all about having fun
This one is purely for the ladies (altho i know it sexist - i really only imagine girls may even do this thing)
Beyonce - Check On it. You know she's badass sexy powerful. This song is my absolute fave of hers. it's actually been my "get ready to go out" song for years.
I don't even really wanna tell you how you might get down to this song because well... you KNOW how to
just know you deserve to feel like this. this song is S-E-X-Y (and the video is hot!)
Some other girl only songs i like to dance to somtimes are:
Fergie - London Bridge. Love me some Fergie. Drop it down real low, dont give a fuck so here we go.... this isn't the official video because i kind of don't like it
and just in case you need a bit more Grrrrl Power and less dancing like a ho:
No Doubt - Just A Girl. You could even go so wild as to throw in some push ups just like Gwen - another super sexy diva power girl that i adore.
diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2010, single mom of 2 wildebeasts, love my job - i'm a realtor, love my friends, love food, love austin, love marmosets.
Blogging about my cancer trip on Glitter Every Day & about cooking vegan from the Greenling Delivery boxes on Vegan Greenling, and Real Estate/Austin at rocknrealty.net
