Waterproof Mascara

Yesterday was my birthday, I went to Sephora and bought myself a new Benefit mascara called They're REAL - cute
today I learned that it is definitely waterproof, today I learned that a sweet friend Kate died.
It's been a rough day. She was young, very young, her darling husband is very young.
She died of Cancer.
Skin cancer, that had spread, to various parts of Kate's body, and ultimately her brain.
She fought this disease for many years, with varying levels of success with different treatments.
I know that people tend to say about most cancer patients that they are so positive ect... but ask anyone who came across Kate, and you will hear that she was truly the most positive and inspiring shining light in her battle with damn cancer than anyone.
She never doubted that at treatment would work, she never gave up, she always had a positive spin. I recently visited her in a hospice, where she went briefly to get a handle on severe pain, and even in there, unable to walk by herself, scared of the pain, no hair, she laughed, she talked about the future, she told me her various treatment options, she was having a birthday celebration. I was hardly sad myself when i was there.
Get this - when I was diagnosed and going through treatment - Kate called ME an inspiration. She was incredibly supportive. Wow
I guess when you are a cancer survivor, and someone else dies of cancer, you will never NOT have mixed, guilt, emotions, questions of why, fear, humility, and more strange hard to handle emotions. Beyond the grief.
I am having all of those - and before you tell me that that my journey was far from easy and all that - I know, I know what i went through was traumatic and scary and hard  - but still, I can't help it, I had a cancer that didn't spread, that could be removed by surgery, and zapped with a bit of chemo, I had a beginning and an end of it, and a clear path of HOPE. Kate did not have that luxury. But she did have HOPE nonetheless.
There are no answers. She is free now. And I can only assume that her life here on Earth was to touch us all, inspire hope, do good work, and remind us to be happy and strong
I miss you Kate