Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Family, Loss, Love

This post isn't really a cancer post - but it is about grief, love, family, remembering, loss....a lot of the emotions surrounding cancer and diagnosis and stuff.

at almost 3 years since starting this, there is less to write about directly, so i have thought that i would sometimes post about other life things that don't have a place on my Real Estate blog or my Vegan blog.

So today is the birthday of my cousin Chris Davis, who died. he died a few years ago when he was only 32, a bike accident involving a car. Of course he was too young.

My uncle, his dad, likes to honor this day by having a family lunch together. Today it was at Mothers's, the place where he and Chris had their last meal together. The end of the physical parenthood. Not the bond

This is also the place I told Tony, my now ex husband, that i was pregnant with our first child Claudia, 15 years ago. The start of parenthood. The start of the bond

We looked at a binder of photos of Chris. We chatted here and there about him. At the end of the meal, Harvey spoke, thanking us, and talked about how time does ease, but how every day still hurts. And he talked about he thinks of the Sandy Hook parents. And how when you lose a kid you think about all the moments right before, and all of the things you don't get to see through to fruition.... Then he recited from memory a poem about grief and loss.

I don't know, i just was so overwhelmed with the idea that it doesn't matter the age of the kid, the loss is so deep and awful for a parent. An altering beyond my comprehension.

After Harvey's poem, my 97 year old grandmother recited a poem from memory - a poem the she felt represented Chris and the legacy he left.

I felt so warm and happy right then to be surrounded by such smart, loving, feeling people in my family.