Friday, December 3, 2010

been a while....need more glitter

wow, so it's been a month ish that i've written here. I guess it's been a pretty rough month and i didn't feel like whine writing. sometimes it helps but sometimes it gets on my own nerves to hear me.

it's been a rough month for a number of reasons. i think a lot has to do emotionaly with a coming down of sorts from the drama of surgury & chemo. now it's past, life is getting back to normal, except it's not.

I started Tamoxifen - that could have a lot to do with it. it can cause emotional shit & depression. I thought i was weepy before?? it sucks

I've finished getting the expanders expanded, but the last three were super painful & uncomfortable, shockingly so. No as I await surgery the pain is gone but they are still ridic uncomfortable. I don't know how to dress even sometimes.

Finances have been a strain - in real estate you have to be always working a few months ahead to keep it steady, screeching to a halt this summer is still affecting me. Working my ass off now. Loving it but disheartening for earnings not to be reliable like a job job

I want my head hear to be more normal, it is growing back tho, but i can see how slow it's gonna be, i'm ready for the Ellen do.
And this today, i noticed that my eybrows are now falling out. 6 weeks since my last chemo!!!???  seems unfair. I'm patching together normalness, this feels like a set back.

ok purged. done. I am not great at wallowing. don't worry, i have cried a ton. I just know that if i get too caught up in the sad i won't move forward somewhere. I have to work, i have to be a good mom, i have to make money and i like those things, so i don't want to mess them up.
I will go to Sephora this weekend and ask a girl or guy there to help, and i will purchase some excellent brow product no matter how much it costs.  Maybe i need a new glitter eyeliner to remind me?

PS - my replacemnt surgery is December 14th - for you lay people - that's new boob surgery. yahooooooo


  1. Yay for new boobies! I hope you have fun picking them out! LOL!

  2. Yay for new boobs. You will be the 90 year old lady with a perky chest. :)

    I'm sorry to hear things have been rough. Cancer does that. Cancer just plain sucks ass. There is no other word for it. I am so glad you are on a jouney to getting better. I can't wait to see you with a pixie cut. They are so cute.

    Hope you have a lovely holiday season.


  3. Woohoooo! Only a few short days til your new editions :) And you better treat yourself to some nice brows, cause you deserve it :)

    Stay motivated, strong, and beautiful. Do it for your kids, for your job, but mostly do it for YOU. You're a beautiful woman inside and out, showcase that.


  4. Love it! You are so strong. Jealous you get new boobs I would even like old ones :) Love to Claudia

  5. All I want for Christmas is my two front boobs ... :-)

  6. Even without brows, you're awesome. And beautiful. Hang in there!

  7. Sephora, eh? You know, you could do what I do ... I color my brows in with glitter eyeshadow! Oil Slick from Urban Decay. Cancer sucks, losing your hair sucks and losing your brows suck ... might as well have a little fun with it, no?