i have heard, more than once, that you are a cancer survivor from the moment you are diagnosed.
i also heard once that SURVIVING the diagnoses is the hardest part
That i believe. I recieved my diagnosis over the phone, in my car, luckily not driving yet. I was expecting the biopsy results. I had emerged from an accupuncure session with multiple missed calls and a couple of messages from the Women's Imaging Center, so i knew not to call when i was driving. Just in case it was bad news.
The calls were from Dr O'Connell. I had not met her, turns out the day i went in was one of the very rare days she was off, but they told me she would be the one to call. She has a slight Irish accent. That i will never ever forget.
I don't feel like trying to explain all the unexplainable thoughts that went through my brain in those moments of hearing those words. It's really hard to re go through.
But i do remember her accent. And i remember thinking how hard it must be for her to do this every day. And then i went into practical info mode...met with the actual Drs that would be tending to me, and tried to forget that part of it all.
Well today i had an amazing oportunity - my best friend was signed up to take me to a follow up Dr appointment this morning, and we decided to make a sorta symbolic day of it and she scheduled a mammogram right before it at my same old place. Like a dual support pact for the boobs.
While she went in to the imaging room, i spied Dr. O'Connell, and i suddenly got up and went to her and introduced myself. I told her we hadn't met but that she was the one to call me. I told her i just had a mastectomy. And I told her i wanted to meet her to erase the negative imprint memory of her voice. We hugged. We talked about my health. She noticed my accent (what accent??) and could tell i had lived in UK so then we talked about marmite. :)
It was very bondy, and kind of emotional. I feel really lucky i got to do that.